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Dec 05

I had phone sex with a guy thats not my boyfriend and I feel horrible what should I do??

I met my boyfriend in DEC 2010 I have known him for almost 2yrs been together for 1yr and 2 months. Okay this is my story I met him over the phone on Dec 30 2010 and I completely liked him since the first conversation we had I was naive and I fell in love with him hard. so as the days went on on Feb 2011 he asked me to be his girlfriend and Of course i said yes so we were good for a couple of months but since i was so naive i would let him hang up on me, fall asleep while i was talking to him, hurt me (emotionally) and even one day in may of 2011 he had told me he had sent a picture to a girl because she asked him to because she was curious how he looked of course I was mad but i let it slide so then a month or two later he did the same but this time i didn’t let it slide i was mad and argued with him and he said he was sorry and that he will not do it again. I was hurt because I’m not the typical model chick porno looking girl (if you know what i mean) but i do have a pretty face.I know that he LOVES those types a girls what male does’t like pretty slim girls with big boobs and stuff I really don’t think highly of myself when it comes to pretty or sexy or wanted so for him to do that it hurt my feelings anyway so I ended up forgiving him anyway so keep in mind this is a long distance relationship (like a 6 to 8 hour distance ) so by now its June or July of 2011 and we haven’t seen each other face to face only pictures or web cam but that’s it. So by this time we would have phone sex a lot almost everyday (we’ve bin having phone sex since we met) it was good and exiting still is. He started out being very serious not making me laugh that much quiet all the time was pretty boring but i just couldn’t just not talk to him something about him was luring me to him so anyways i’m so talkative very funny down to earth girl like a guys girl cool and understanding well anyways our problems would be that he would ignore me sometimes when we were on the webcam he would fall asleep on me on the phone i felt that he wasn’t in to me i was in pain because i would get sick like a cold or virus and he would fall asleep on the phone like he wouldn’t care and he even told me once and he gave me an apology and we got over it so once i told him crying that i cant take it anymore and that i wanted to break up it scared him and got into shape and did change somethings he was doing wrong. So in between October and December he had made a Facebook and like always he was talking to girls texting them and i thought flirting with them so we had a few arguments and that was that. So then i went to go visit him in Houston for the 2 week Christmas vacations in 2011 were he and his family lives together and i stayed with him for a week and he came back with me and my family to were i live and stayed another week as we were in my town we went to the mall and he stared at a girl while we were at foot lockers but i stayed quiet so he stayed till Jan 2ND 2012 so by then in the end of Jan he told me he sent a IM to one of my friends that’s a girl and she is VERY VERY sexy beautiful and damn HOT he has always bin honest with me no matter wat it is so when he told me he sent her “cute pic” when he would never comment on my pictures or make me feel special sexy beautiful or anything i got jealous so i made a whole big scene and decided to check his Facebook so one day i did and saw all these messages to so many girls and i saw that he asked a girl her number that did it for me i had had it because they were all hot and sexy and he never talked to me like that or made me fell like that. so that broke my heart so i cried and cried so i decided to talk to other guys so he can get off my mind get over him and even not to feel depressed anymore but i did it without him knowing so I was talking to this guy in Feb 2012 and i talked to him so cool i was even liking him and i had phone sex with him i was mostly faking the noises but still i feel bad for what i did so i stopped talking to him(which i wish i didn’t)and worked it out with my boyfriend so i recently told him about me talking to other guys but NOT that i had a kinda phone sex so he forgave me because he understood why i did it but mind you he doesn’t know i had the phone sex. i have major trust issues with him i don’t trust him at all so recently i have bin dieting and loosing weight so i feel that he took a major interest in me which hurts my feelings well he has changes over these months so recently we have bin arguing and talking about us and i told him that he is a shitty BF and he doesnt stand up for me he doesnt defend me he doesnt get jealous even when i lie about a guy who flirted or looked at me he doesnt buy me things or do things for me hes not romantic but he is a good guy he means well i know he does but sometimes i need attention which he doesnt give me i want him to make me feel special but nope recently I talked to another guy and i like him but i shouldnt i feel bad = (

So recently I talked to another guy and had phone sex and I like him and I also liked the phone sex I feel so bad what do I do now I don’t want to leave my BF I do love him but he just hurts me a lot help me please I feel like I’m going to die I need help someone talk to me a email or number anything please I don’t want to lose him

1 comment

  1. bigtomesz

    Oh, honey, this is a wammy. I’m guessing that you are in mid-teen years?

    FIRST of all, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER! This guy, is such a jerk! If you are going to go through the long distance torture, you have to be able to trust that your boyfriend isn’t screwing around when he isn’t with you. It really sucks when you realize that he is not faithful, and by the way he isn’t being faithful to you at all! If he really did love and care for you, he wouldn’t be looking at girls and being so verbally stupid about it. He needs to grow up too.

    Second, enough with the phone sex. I understand you probably have a lot of pent of sexual tension, but it is so silly when you think about it. We have all been through that phase, but let it go.

    Third, your self-image: Growing up SUCKS! Feeling so awkward and dealing with weight and skin and trying to figure out what works for your body is sooo hard! I went through that phase myself, and pretty much everyone does. And believe it or not the whole skinny skinny girl with big boobs thing, is not the only thing that defines people beautiful. There are very curvy beautiful people out there! If you are unhappy about how you look, then use it as motivation. Find a way to workout that makes you happy. Whether its joining a swim team, going to dance classes, fitness classes, running, pilates, anything that you can make a solid pattern in your life. This will also help take away all of the sexual tension you have building up inside you. Nothing is worse then a crash diet work out regimen. Find a way to eat healthier, and control portions in your diet. You can eat what you want but just smaller portions. Three meals a day, no snacking, will help you out immensely.

    Fourth, there is nothing wrong with being single. You don’t have to have a boyfriend to define who you are. You need time to figure out what you want out of life, and not let a boy determine that for you. There is so much that you can accomplish in life on your own without a crummy guy making you step backwards and doubt yourself. And, it’s pretty proven that when a girl becomes single again, they always look foxy, because they go and get a makeover and they dress to impress!

    Let go of the guy. YES, it’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna suck. But guess what? He sucks already and so by letting him go, you will already be moving up in the world. And you need a clean break, as in block his number, facebook, any kind of connection. You cannot be tempted to call him back. Tell your friends to take you down if you even try to reconnect! Love will find you when you’re not looking for it. SO STOP LOOKING!!!

    😉

    I know you can do it, because I did it. I was in a very similar boat when I was 16 years old, and I broke off all contact. It was amazing how much I grew during that time. I look back remember all the things I missed because my ear was attached to my phone and think how silly I was. I was a late bloomer in the looks department, and thought I’d never lose the weight I needed. But guess what? I did! I know that you can do it! Have faith!

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