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Dec 01

My husband hit me for the first time in an 19 year marriage. I don’t know what to do?

How do I forgive my husband for hitting me after 19 years of a loving and passionate marriage? We have our ups and downs but were always able to work it out in the end. We love each other very much. Two nights ago we went out with friends and drank way too much. In the car ride home we began to fight. I asked him to pull over so we could work it out. He did. We talked, yelled and I cried. Suddenly he just drove on. I begged him to stop and not go home where the kids were. He wouldn’t stop and as we got closer to our home I felt panic. I hit his arm while he drove. I never meant to hurt him. I am a small woman and having just finished chemo for cancer I am weak. I know I shouldn’t have hit him but I just lost it. I was hoping he would stay in the car when we got home but he went straight into the house. I followed, taking my shoes off so I wouldn’t wake up the kids. I found him in out closet with his back to me. I threw my shoe at him and stepped closer and slapped his back. He turned around so fast and punched me in the head. I fell to the floor, shocked. He went to sleep in another room and I followed telling him to leave. He said no. I took his briefcase and went to the front door to put it outside. He followed me and grabbed it then punched me in the head again. I am devastated. He has never done anything like this at all before. He has never hit the kids or me. He left the house. The next morning he came home and said how ashamed and sorry he was. I kept saying he was sorry and that it will never happen again. This is tragic. We have a beautiful family and love each other a great deal even after 20 years. How do I begin to let go of the sadness and hurt? How do I begin to heal and forgive? I don’t want to lose what we spent years building. I am so sad and hurt.

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