Nov 27

Some people tell me that if you and your boyfreind fight alot that is called love.is that true?

now me and my boyfreind have been going out for 2 years now and now the only thing we is doing is argueing back and foward.we sometimes argue over crazy stuff but at the same time the arguements sometimes get out of hand.i love him so much and i want to know what can i do to keep us fromargueing.I took us out to eat and we laughed and when we got home we played with each other,like tickling and playing board games and stuff like that.we always go on cruizes and stuff like that.he has a good job.he works off shore on the rig but at the same time we never spend time with each other everyday or sometimes for a month.he stays out there for a long time..i have my own bueaty salon and barber shop and clothing store and he has his own car shop like spray painting cars and putting desighns on them.i want to know what can i do to keep us from argueing if we are having a baby on the way?

1 comment

  1. alextailor700

    It sounds like you and he have a great foundation 🙂 you have fun and adventures together and are starting a family! Congratulations There is nothing wrong with disagreeing, so long as you can talk about it without hurting each other. If things get heated, it’s valuable to have a way that you can postpone the discussion until you are both calmed down.

    This takes practice and trust. It can be as simple as agreeing saying “code blue” is a really nice way of saying “we need to stop talking about this RIGHT NOW and have something to eat. I believe you are overly emotional because you have low blood sugar”.
    Seriously, so many arguments have turned into slight disagreements because of this. You both have to stick to it: if one says time out, you both stop and calm down.

    You will have views and opinions and ambitions that aren’t entirely compatible. You will reach a point where either you compromise, or he compromises, or (sometimes) you can agree to disagree. This is natural and inevitable, but you can do it without feeling like you “won” or “lost”. It is the most amazing feeling when you learn something new about a person you know insideout. Whenever you clash, try to identify why you feel the way you do, and what motivates his opinion/behaviour:

    Listen without judging, and expect the same in return. If this isn’t happening, take a break and talk again later. If you disagree, try to see it from thier point of view. Ask Why? Never assume he can read your mind. Never take it for granted that “everyone knows that”. Assuming his intention isn’t to hurt you, why does he think a behaviour is okay? And why DONT you agree?

    Sometimes you will identify an irrational, unreasonable, or overly-sensitive part of yourself. Accept this: most of us are a little broken. Help him to understand your views and why you have them: more he understands you, the easier it is for him to change his behaviour and protect you, or help you to change your behaviour.
    Working together , you can ensure he cant accidently hurt you, and you cant blow up “for no reason”.

    (All of that counts vice versa)

    Absolute oposition can be very confronting, and make you feel attacked. Little phrases like
    “I think I unserstand your view now, but have you thought of..? ”
    “I can see why you would think like that, but let me tell you how I see it..”
    “You make a good point about that, but .. ”
    can really make it feel like a conversation instead of a warground.



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